Rocky Horror Homicide Show
by of the funsized variety
Summary: This is going to be a collection of homicide- based parodies of rocky horror songs, including those only done in the play version of rocky horror. Read at your own risk  take the risk ...
1. Timewarp

Okay, so we know we're crazy, have an extremely morbid sense of humor, and are creepers ("we" being GypsyGirl5 and I, not the voices that typically inhabit my head, but they did play a small part in this), but aren't all rocky horror fans described like this? Anyway, enjoy the damn story, and if you come out alive _and_ unscarred, then you have taken the spot as our new favorite person! Review or the homicidal rocky horror characters are going to show their cannibal sides… *insert evil laugh here*

**Bold words= Police man(s) singing**

_Italic words= Serial killer(s) singing_

Underlined words=Victim(s) singing

_It's so relaxing…_

_Almost-therapeutic…_

Dying… takes its toll

_But I'm going to keep you…_

_Not for very much longer…_

_I'm going to… keep control_

_I remember- my first murder!_

Drinking… my last moments before…

The blackness would hit meee…

And the light would be calllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing….

_Let's go on a killing spree again!_

_Let's go on killing spree again!_

_It's just a stab to the left…_

_And then a stab to the ri-i-i-ight…_

**Put the knife on the ground-**

**And hold your hands up hi-i-igh!**

**Cuz you don't wanna be arrested…**

**Deep down you're not a murder-er-er-er…**

**Don't stab the person in the face!**

_Inthebackinthebackintheback!_

**Don't stab the person in the face!**

_In thebackinthebackintheback!_

_Its so redeeming…_

_Oh conscience free me!_

_So you can't catch me-no not at all…_

_Because no one will mention_

_My homicidal intentions…_

_Well secluded… I see all…_

_At the end of the knife tip_

_You will see the blood drip…_

_And nothing- will ever be the same._

_Then there comes the sensation…_

_Just like assassination…_

_Let's go on a killing spree again!_

_Let's go on a killing spree again!_

Well I was walkin down the street justa havin a think…

When a creepy guy gave me an evil wink…

He came from behind he took me by surprise he had a butcher knife, and the devil's eyes!

He stabbed me and I felt the pain…

I was dying- never woke again!

_Lets go on a killing spree again!_

_Let's go on the killing spree again!_

_It's just a stab to the left…_

_And then a stab to the ri-i-i-ight…_

**Put the knife on the ground-**

**And hold your hands up hi-i-igh!**

**Cuz you don't wanna be arrested…**

**Deep down you're not a murder-er-er-er…**

**Don't stab the person in the face!**

_Inthebackinthebackintheback!_

*End of song… all characters begin stabbing each other, then fall down… supposedly…dead.

So, did you like it? Because we have MORE! We're working on making one murderer version for every rocky horror song… even the songs only in the play version! And again, we understand that we are completely psycho and need therapy- we've already come to terms with these facts and are indeed proud of them. So, review and more chapters will be bestowed upon you…!


	2. Super Heroes

Thank you to Magenta-A-Domestic and Anne Oying for being the only two reviewers. It is greatly appreciated. And by the way, Anne, we will try to get a Damnit Janet parody as soon as possible, but we haven't tried to make one yet, so it may be awhile. I assume you realized that the first chapter was a Timewarp parody. Anyway, this one is to the tune of Super Heroes, which is only in the U.K. version of Rocky Horror. Here's the disclaimer: We don't own the songs that these parodies are based off, only the lyrics we made up. We also don't own Rocky Horror… (sad face). There is one more thing we must mention before you read this- it's a little more morbid than the Timewarp was, and involves cannibalism… so, read at your own risk (take the risk)…

?

I've killed a lot; God knows I've lied,

Now I've escaped, but where to hide?

And all I know, is everybody's bleeding…

And cannibals, come to feast,

To taste the flesh, just deceased,

And all I know, is I think it's Frank they're eating.

And crawling, on the planet's face,

Those victims, from the human race,

Lost in death, they've left behind their meaning.

?

I know it's super short, but the original song is just as short, so it's nothing I could prevent.

~Review. You know you want to…~


	3. Eddie

This is a parody of Eddie, in which Eddie is a goody- two shoes – basically the complete opposite personality that he takes on in the movie. Happy reading!

From the night he was born (not the day but the night)

He was perfect (with a capital "P")

He was the smile (not the frown but the smile)

In his mother's life (not her death but her life)

She had success (not failure but success)

With raising her boy (not her girl but her boy)

HE WORE BLACK THE DAY SHE DIED…

From the day she was gone (bop shee bop bop)

All he wanted (bop shee bop bop)

Was to make some friends (bop shee bop bop)

And to have some fun

But he found the wrong group-

They were a very murderous troop,

Killing everyone in their way…

When Eddie said that he loved his teddy, they knew he was a suck-up kid,

But when we threatened his life with a switchblade knife-

Well, he died…

You're supposed to LIE!

Thought I did…

Everybody loved him,

I just wanted to shove him,

I said HEY! listen to me,

You're too perfect- it's annoying

But then they stabbed him and threatened to hurt me…

But he must've been drawn

Into trouble

Making him warn

Me in a note that reads,

What's it say, what's it say?

If you value your life,

Then to save me, you have to bring a gun (or a knife)

These people have completely lost their minds (AHHHHHH)!

When Eddie said that he loved his teddy, they knew he was a suck-up kid,

But when we threatened his life with a switchblade knife-

Well, he died…

You're supposed to LIE!

Thought I did…

When Eddie said that he loved his teddy, they knew he was a suck-up kid,

But when we threatened his life with a switchblade knife-

Well, he died (whoa hoa hoa)…

You're supposed to LIE (hey hey hey)…

Thought I did (Eddie)…

~Review because you know you love it… or even if you don't ~


	4. Science Fiction Double Feature

Hello folks! We know, we know, send the cannibals after us for not updating sooner. Sorry, but we had serious writer's block. Like, a steel wall was in front of a brick wall covered in barbed wire covered in lemon (it didn't help that we live in different universes) and it was keeping us from writing these terrifically morbid parodies. But we shall make up for it by bestowing upon you the longest Rocky Horror song there is- that's right, everyone! We have officially finished the Science Fiction Double Feature parody! Huzzah! Now, before you read, it is necessary to understand that the first verse is a sort of story of how the group's first attempt at homicide goes. Also, the word "rabble" means general populous, and the word "macabre" is pronounced ma-cob and means creepy or eerie. The rest is for you to make your own assumptions (because the authoress, GyspyGirl5, was too lazy to come up with a story for her bit). Furthermore, we don't own Rocky Horror, but we would like to thank Richard O' Brien for needing to pay his rent. If he hadn't, then Rocky Horror wouldn't exist and neither would this parody. Life would be less fun. Anyway, enjoy the parody! Whether you like it or not… *ominous music comes from nowhere*

Michael Raney was ill, when we went in for the kill, once we told us, where he stands.

And Flash Gordon was there, but he was unprepared- he forgot to bring his knife and the brand.

Of course something went wrong; a gun went off like a song- we didn't know where the bullet would land.

Then at a deadly pace, it hit Mike in the face, we all freaked out and then we just ran.

Macabre and morbid, double murder,

Doctor X built an- evil creature.

See psychopaths fighting, Brad and Janet,

And Francis hides his, forbidden plans.

Wha- ah- ah- ah –ah- ah- oh,

At the late night, double murder, true crime show.

I broke Leo G. Carol, over a barrel when the rabble became very shrill.

And I nearly got shot, when I saw Janet Scott, fight a hit man that used poison to kill.

Daner Andrew said goons, gave him the runes, and stabbing them took lots of skill.

But when guns collide, said George Pal to his bride, it's gonna give us, some terrible thrills.

Macabre and morbid, double murder,

Doctor X built an- evil creature.

See psychopaths fighting, Brad and Janet,

And Francis hides his, forbidden plans.

Wha- ah- ah- ah –ah- ah- oh,

At the late night, double murder, true crime show.

By a real foe, wha- ah-ah-ah-ah-oh

At the late night, double murder, true crime show

I have to-go… * points in general direction of the exit and scrambles toward it* wha- ah-ah-ah-oh,

To the late night, double murder, true crime show

Gone to death row, wha-ah-ah-ah-oh,

at the late night, double murder, true-crime-show…

(Reprise)

Macabre and morbid, double murder,

Frank has mauled and killed the victims (OR an alternate line) Riff has stabbed and, killed Frank's creature,

Homicide has conquered, Brad and Janet,

The henchman gone to, a distant lair

Wha-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-oh, at the late double murder, true crime show.

By a real foe, wha- ah-ah-ah-ah-oh

At the late night, double murder, true crime show

I have to-go… * points in general direction of the exit and scrambles toward it* wha- ah-ah-ah-oh,

To the late night, double murder, true crime show

Gone to death row, wha-ah-ah-ah-oh,

at the late night, double murder, true-crime-show…

~What did you think? Review and tell us what was on your mind…~


	5. There's a Light

Hello readers! Sorry for the EXTREME delay in chapter updates… we were kidnapped by aliens, and only managed to get away from them by wearing funny hats and laughing in a foreign accent. Feel free to stone us, but please do so with interesting French masonry. Any who… here is the There's a Light parody… it's one of our more macabre versions, but in our opinion, it's not nearly as morbid as the Super Heroes parody. It's still of epic proportions though. Have fun with Janet's cannibalistic side …

In the evil darkness, of the blackest heart, where I start- to die…

The whole world starts, to go, awry…

There's a fight, over at the homicide place..

There's a fight, *Janet*: I wonder how blood tastes..- I mean!….

There's a fight, fight, of the darkness, of everybody's life.

Riff: The bloodstains must run to the anger of life's seething,

Flow from the veins, of the victim, silently screaming.

They're void of all life, void of all life….

There's a fight, over at the homicide place..

There's a fight, *Janet*: I wonder how blood tastes..- I mean!….

There's a fight, fight, of the darkness, of everybody's life.

*end song*

Please review… don't want Janet to find out how blood tastes… *evil laugh* o.0


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